At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
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