When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
