found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
