Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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