i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
