I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
