she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
