I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
