My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
