Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I would fuck him just for his dog
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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