he shaved USA in his pubs
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
He shit in the fireplace
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
