Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
There's always time for handjobs
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
