I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
