Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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