i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
cat food counts as protein by the way
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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