Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
