Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Just invented taco cereal.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
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