its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Your cock deserves a montage
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
