So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
You are a booty call, not a friend.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize