I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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