oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
