The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
