This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
