My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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