It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
You made out with two different species that night
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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