we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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