We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
