it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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