I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
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