Me. At least after what I've been through.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
