You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
