Is it because I queefed?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
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