ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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