I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
