K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Randomize
