Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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