Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
She announced her abortion via fbk
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
