I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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