So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
