Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Randomize
