that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
