What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
