You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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