THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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