Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
