Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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