Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
