you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I woke up under a house in Key West
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
