so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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