I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
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