so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
