David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
