I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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