I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
