i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
