i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
