You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
