Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
