In America we eat man semen.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
