you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
