Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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