It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
