I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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