i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
