I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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