And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
