i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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