I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
